I'm writting this entry trying to understand myself and other people, and their behaviours and words. They're just so destructive, and I'm just to sensitive to take them but not listen to them at all, or just throw away them until I realize they're just there to get me down.

I've just had an horrible day, but if I stop to think now I can remember many times feeling disappointed, but getting over them and going on with my life. Working like hell. Without sleeping. Without going out. Standing all those huge idiots around me. Thinking that they were some of my friends. And, meanwhile, studying like hell. Getting the highest marks to acomplish a promise with a deceased.
But, actually, all that things that are tormenting my mind and are hurting my body will have no use. I'm planning to go far, to nowhere, to a place where nobody will know me, where I'll be able to be alone with my thoughts. I will study architecture if I can, finish studies and go abroad. I definetely DON'T WANT TO STAY ANYMORE. Except for some people that I trust and that I'm fond of, who are less than I can count with fingers of my right hand. If I could I'd want to take them with me forever. And about my family, they seem to have lost confidence in me. And so I've done with them. Even with my little sister, who seems to love me only when she needs some kind of help from me or my wardrobe.

And the only person that could save me from these thoughts is gone. And sadly, I won't be able to make her smile speaking my creepy greek language. She was true, she had trust. And she died, and I should have told her all that feelings before. I'd have been a normal teenager now.

On 28/6 I'm going to Ireland by plane, to improve my english. I think this will be my first and my last chance to escape from this nightmare. I'll try to enjoy it a lot and get as much experiences as possible, and meet new people. I hope they won't be wearing masks as people in here do, all the time.